Thankful Thursday: January 19, 2012

This is such a great blog theme that I want to revive it.  However, it’s usually Friday or some other day of the week when I think of it rather than Thursday, so it doesn’t ordinarily happen.  But tonight we had an experience that warrants some thanksgiving.

I’m thankful that the phone call from my husband that the car had broken down on his way home from a stake Young Men’s presidencies/scout leaders social came before I started getting Jane and myself ready for bed.

I’m thankful for the GPS on my phone that let me look up his location and directions while our car was warming up.  And oh yes, so thankful for the second car as well.

I’m thankful for the other scout leader Doug was giving a ride home to who knew a great local repair shop – and who happens to be neighbors to the owner of said repair shop.  We stopped by the owner’s house to make sure we knew the gate code for the tow truck to drop off the car.

I’m thankful for the roadside assistance option we chose on our car insurance policy that allowed the car to get towed quickly and for free.

I’m thankful that we have an emergency fund which completely took the panic out of this event because we know we can pay for it.

I’m thankful that the dark and the rain didn’t faze me too much while driving.  And this was yet another opportunity to strengthen my everlasting adoration of and gratitude for variable-speed intermittent windshield wipers.  (I really need to watch Flash of Genius.)

So today ends a little later than planned, but with a lot to be thankful for.

Theme for 2012: Grace

It seems as though so many people I know or whose blogs I read choose a word each year to help narrow and define their purpose for the year.  I love that Tsh Oxenrieder, editor of the fantastic blog Simple Mom, chose no for her word last year to solidify her effort at streamlining her home and family life and not taking on too many big commitments as she was wont to do in past years.  I gave it a try last year.  My word was organization.

We had made some big changes in our family the previous fall.  My husband sold his chiropractic practice in Austin and we moved to Northern California.  He went from being his own boss to being an employee in someone else’s office.  We went from having him readily available for things such as grocery shopping (a task he primarily handled for the first five years of our marriage) and a lot of cooking to me needing to take care of these things.  We had moved from a small apartment to a probably-not-that-much-larger townhouse.  Jane was about fifteen months old when we moved.

It was time for me to start doing a lot more home managing, and I took organization to heart.  I wanted to create a routine to get cleaning, cooking, parenting, and handling the things I wanted to accomplish under control.  I tried a lot of different checklists and other tools, and we had some big changes this year that upset any routine I found; but now, one year later, I can really say that I am more comfortable as a home manager.  I’m not perfect by any stretch of the imagination, but I can say that I can typically keep the house and meals and budget running in way I’m satisfied with.  Yeah, my bedroom is typically in need of constant decluttering and there are nights that I decide pizza is the way to go for dinner and there are days when Jane watches way too much TV, but on the whole, I think I do an alright job.  My days have a rhythm rather than a routine, and I’m pretty happy with it.  I’ve found the sources that really ring true with me and I don’t feel like I’m constantly searching for new ideas on how to run my home.

Of course, I would love to find more hours to do more things outside of home managing.  I’d love to go back to school, teach at a local college, sew a lot more, write a lot more.  However, I’ve accepted that this is the season of my life.  It’s the season for me to spend trying to open the eyes and minds of little ones, to wipe their faces and bums, and to remember that it’s a blessed thing to be a mother.

A couple weeks ago I had completed our budget for the month and felt a little sad that it was hard to fit in some things that I figured we should be able to afford.  We live and eat pretty simply.  We’ve narrowed down our debt payment and our expenses.  Why couldn’t I fit in a box of contacts without resorting to our “extra” fund?  The question that always lurks in the back of my mind crept up again.  Should I be working – like the kind that pays money?  I talked to my husband about it, and he said that earlier in the day he had felt so grateful that we could afford to live in our home and pay our bills and always have food to eat.  He reminded me that we are making a sacrifice in having me stay home and raise our children.  I know that sacrifice is worth every effort we make to make this one-income thing work.  I know women who would love to be in my shoes, and I can’t take that for granted.  Not only is it a blessed thing to be a mother, it’s a blessed thing to be able to stay home with your children.

So that brings me to this year.  Knowing that in only a few short months we will welcome our little son to the world and to our home, I’m making grace my word for the year.  I know that it will take time to find another rhythm and another routine.  I know that, in the mean time, some of the things I want to accomplish will fall by the wayside.  However, I know that in time things will fall into place.  Until then, I’m giving myself grace.

Grace to be flawed but trying.  Grace to accept help while trying to serve others.  Grace to take another big step in life, knowing that I might stumble a little on the landing.  Grace to work and try as hard as I can, and then admire the accomplishment, no matter how meager it seems.

I hope that, at the end of 2012, I can look back on this year and be ready to start a new adventure.

The Crayon Monster

In the past, I have tried to be really resourceful with our broken crayons.  I had a lot of crayon pieces from when I taught middle school, and when there’s a little one learning to use them, that little person is going to break a lot of crayons in the beginning.  So, I would peel the paper off the crayon pieces and melt them down in a little muffin tin to make crayon cakes.  Great in a little drawstring bag for a little extra Christmas present or a birthday present for friends.

However, I guess somewhere along the way Jane figured that crayons should be broken and without paper.  She’s gotten some new crayons lately, and the first thing she would do was break them in half and peel the paper off of them.  At first, we would get upset with her deliberate destruction.  Then I realized why she was doing it – because she watched my example – and then we tried to teach her the difference between brand-new, nice crayons and old broken ones.  To no avail.  There was no enjoyment in the fresh scent and sharp tips of brandy new crayons.  Just breaking and peeling – and then coloring.

And then one night I realized that she had sat for 45 minutes quietly and contentedly peeling the paper off her crayons with very little interaction from us.  It was Sunday night when Doug and I were trying to prepare everything for a short little day trip to the coast and we were too busy to pay a lot of attention to her (as she really should have been asleep anyway). rather than enjoy their fresh scent and nice, fine tips, the first thing she would do is break them in half and then peel the paper off.  At first, we would get upset with her deliberate destruction.  But then I realized why she did it.

And then I has a light bulb moment.  (I even heard Steve Carrell say it in his Despicable Me voice in my mind.)  She was sitting by herself and doing something, quiet and content, for a pretty long time without TV and without us playing with her.  That doesn’t happen ever.  Hey, and she was strengthening her fine motor skills!  And it’s not that terrible of a thing to do, in the grand scheme of things.  Unless she starts trying to break and unwrap all her friends’ crayons.  I’ll cross that bridge when I come to it.

So for now, I think we’ll switch focus to making crayons in fun shapes (using something like this) rather than insisting that she not break them.

Sleep to Dream

Our little girl is finally sleeping more in her own bed and room than in mine.  Of course, the benefits of this are great!  I can put away laundry or read or just basically be in my bedroom and bathroom after she goes to sleep.  I can toss and turn and get comfortable without a little body snuggled up against me. (I’ve never been a sleep-snuggler.  Give me some space, please.)  I can get up in the middle of the night or in the morning without fear of waking her when I move away.  And finally, we know that having a little baby in our room won’t bother her sleep, either.  I don’t know if this little boy will want to sleep with us the way she did, but at least now he can.  While I’m a big proponent of co-sleeping, I’d be just fine if he was happy sleeping in his own little space, as in a crib or bassinet only a couple feet away from me.

But, when you’ve had your little one so close to you for so long, there are a few things you miss.  One thing that I miss is always knowing she is safe and sound.  I have to tell myself that her room is right next to ours, and the doors are just a few feet away, and that nothing is going to happen to her while she is in there rather than with me.  But sometimes I still worry.

The other night I had a dream that someone was trying to take her from me.  As in snatch her.  The situation was nonsensical, and so this didn’t carry any feeling of specific warning (although I do believe that dreams can have the power of being visions, prophesies, or portents of danger).  Right before I woke up I was screaming and threatening to kill this person and was about to succeed on that threat, but the adrenaline rush startled me awake.  It felt like I was gaining super-human strength, a sensation almost like I was the Hulk losing my temper and gaining huge muscles all over my body.  I felt like I could do anything I wanted.  I have never felt that way before.

I used to have nightmares a lot, so after spending some sleepless nights dealing with them myself, my husband  told me I could always wake him up if I had a bad dream and needed to talk about it, so that was the first thing I did.  After getting it off  my chest, I was left to try to calm down enough to go back to sleep.  However, I was worrying because Jane wasn’t right there next to me.  I couldn’t see that she was alright, so I had to get up, go check on her, and then check her window and all the doors.  All was well, but I still worried.  So I prayed for peace and comfort and finally was able to settle off to sleep for a few more hours.

But before falling asleep, I woke my husband up again and told him that I wanted him to teach my how to use his handgun.

“You’re lucky you’re so cute.”

We find ourselves saying that to my now two-and-a-half-year-old daughter often.

Like tonight, after I had set the table for dinner with the missionaries* and she knocked over a full glass of water onto the table and floor.  She immediately started saying, “I sawyee Mommy, I sawyee Mommy.”  {Sawyee is my best approximation for her “sorry,” which she is quick to say, even if I’m telling her I’m sorry that she got hurt in some small way.  I’m still trying to convince her that she doesn’t need to say she’s sorry at times like that.}  How could we get upset at her sweet little voice full of knowing that she had done something we ordinarily would get frustrated at?  We couldn’t.

Or when she’s insistent – very insistent – that I dance and twirl with her when I’m in the middle of trying to get something done.  Or when I turned around from being at the computer to see her sitting on the couch with her blanket, completely devoid of all her clothes (such as yesterday).  Or if when there is a potty accident or if when she gets up in the middle of the night or if when she is generally crazy at those times I am tired and just need some peace and quiet.

All I can say is, “You’re lucky you’re so cute.”  {Or else it would be a lot easier to be upset with you.}  It’s a great blessing to feel that way because a lot of times it keeps the frustration rolling off my back rather than settling in and tempting me to get mad; rather, I find myself going with the flow and realizing that, most of the time, the mess isn’t that big of a deal, and whatever I’m in the middle of doing can wait.  And the dancing and laughing often ease my nerves as well as – or better than – quiet could.

It brings to mind this little poem I saw on Pinterest (pinned from here):

cleaning and scrubbing

can wait till tomorrow,

for babies grow up,

we’ve learned to our sorrow.

so settle down cobwebs.

dust go to sleep.

i’m rocking my baby,

and babies don’t keep.

But do they stay that cute forever?  :)

 

 

 

*Missionaries are those 19-21 year old guys and 21-22 year old gals who leave their homes and pay their way to serve the Lord by teaching people who are ready to learn about the Gospel.  Often, local church members feed them dinner each night.  We try to have our elders over a couple times a month.

I think I am back!

Well, my “hiatus” has been longer than three months, obviously. For a time I didn’t think I would go back to blogging, but I’ve found that I miss it. Have I don’t more “serious” writing in this time off?  Not really. Blogging gave me an outlet to keep me writing, and while I explored some really good ideas and started a long-term project, not blogging didn’t motivate me as much as I thought it would.  Also, I missed getting some fun feedback through comments on what I did write.  So, I’m back without the pressure to make this blog into something amazing – like all the lovely professional blogs that I regularly read.

The not writing hasn’t been all my fault, really.  Some big things have happened in that last few months that I think would have stalled a lot of people’s progress on not-high-priority things.  For example, just a month into my hiatus, I cut off the tip of one of my fingers with a rotary cutter (left ring finger to be exact).  That makes typing kinda hard.  We moved…twice (in three months).  I got pregnant (enter a very long first trimester).  It’s been a little crazy.

I probably shouldn’t make each of those into a really long story, so I’ll just give a few details on each.  First off, my finger.  Last June, I was cutting some fabric scraps into smaller squares for scrap quilts when I ran the rotary cutter over my fingertip and cut it right off.  Thankfully I was at my parents’ house and my mom could take me to the ER while my dad watched Jane.  It was a small chunk so they just stopped the bleeding and told me it would grow back.  And it did.  You can’t tell what happened because it looks totally normal.  I was afraid it would be all stumpy and ugly and that I would get a hook-nail deformity, but it looks perfectly normal.  No impressive war wound here.  It doesn’t feel normal, but I’m used to it.  Rotary cutters still make me a little squeamish, although I have used one since then.

Once my husband switched jobs to one that included a 30-minute commute each way, we knew moving was inevitable.  We just needed to find the right place – in our price range, would accept pets (including a very large dog), closer to work, etc.  We did find an older house to rent, but after moving in one thing after another went seriously wrong – without much help from our landlords.  The last straw was the dead rodent smell emanating from underneath my daughter’s bedroom floor which our landlord wanted us to crawl under the house and check out rather than coming out himself.  No way, dude.  We were very unhappy there and knew we had made a mistake.  We were very lucky to find a beautiful duplex to rent close by that we absolutely love.  It’s a great blessing to have such a nice place to live.  Our pets did have to find new homes, but again we were blessed to find a great home for each of them.

And then, there’s the (probably) most interesting piece – I am pregnant!  I am now 21 weeks, due mid-April.  It’s a boy.  It’s incredibly exciting for us!  While I didn’t throw up a lot of times like I did with Jane, the nausea and generally yuckiness of the first trimester lasted a lot longer – like from week 7 to week 16 straight.*  I dropped almost 20 pounds from a huge lack of appetite, although that is steadily coming back now.  I’m still not totally back to normal though, although I have a lot more energy and I don’t get an upset stomach nearly as often as I did.  So, I am just going about day to day, trying to do all those things that will help me have a healthy pregnancy and a healthy baby.  You know, eating right, sleeping, exercising, drinking lots of water, etc.

Oh, let’s do a snapshot of Jane’s progress since it’s been so long.  She is now 29 months, weighs 35 pounds, wears 4T/5T clothes (I am starting to have to shop in the “girl” section rather than the “toddler” section for her…EEP!), is potty-trained (we haven’t ventured into serious night training, although she is usually dry when she wakes up), loves nursery at church, talks up a storm, and has a large and active imagination.  She has bright eyes – somewhere between brown and green – and long blonde hair and a big beautiful smile.  We are constantly surprised by her sweetness.

So that’s where we are now.  Glad to be back, and I hope you’re still out there reading.  :)

 

 

 

*You know how you feel like you’re going to get a certain calling, but you really don’t want that particular calling? And you hope and pray that it’s not that calling that you’re going to get when you are asked to meet with the Bishop?  Yeah, so I got the calling after dealing with some real yucky first trimester stuff for a couple weeks, but it came with a blessing from my bishop that didn’t take the sickness away, but lightened it considerably. That is too much of a testimony-builder for me to not mention somewhere on here – I knew that Heavenly Father knew what I was going to and wanted to bless me for working on His behalf for His children.

Thinking

“Lefou, I’m afraid I’ve been thinking-”

“A dangerous pastime…”

“I know.”

-Disney’s Beauty and the Beast

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about what I spend my energy on and what I spend my thinking energy thinking about.  This quote has stuck with me since I read it earlier this week:

Mothers who know do less. They permit less of what will not bear good fruit eternally. They allow less media in their homes, less distraction, less activity that draws their children away from their home. Mothers who know are willing to live on less and consume less of the world’s goods in order to spend more time with their children—more time eating together, more time working together, more time reading together, more time talking, laughing, singing, and exemplifying. These mothers choose carefully and do not try to choose it all.

-Julie B. Beck, “Mothers Who Know,” October 2007 General Conference

Now, this is the same talk that also features, “Home is where women have the most power and influence; therefore, Latter-day Saint women should be the best homemakers in the world.”  No pressure, okay?  Okay!  So, it can be easy to think when you read this that you need to eschew everything except The Testaments and scripture stories and food storage.  But instead, it made me think about what I think about.  My brain only holds so much information, and there’s only so much I can have on my plate.  I’ve long overburdened myself with different things, but since we’ve moved here, I have started to simplify things and see my limits.  One place where I can see something I need to change is in my writing.

I have limited writing time, as you can imagine.  I’m one of those that needs peace and quiet in order to focus on it, and that only happens at specific times in the day – namely, Jane’s nap and when she goes to bed at night.  I’ve decided that nighttime needs to be focused on spending time with my husband, and therefore I need to focus my writing time on Jane’s nap.  Now, I only have enough room in my head for a few commitments, and this little blog takes up a lot of that commitment energy.  When I think about working on a story or a poem, I’ll realize that I haven’t posted on my blog for a while, and I’ll spend my energy there.  I am beginning to wonder what would happen if I used all that energy toward something more long-term.

That being said, I’ve decided to take a blogging hiatus for about three months.  In order to keep recording things that happen, and to journal better in general, I’ve signed up with LDS Journal.  That way I won’t feel bad because I’m not keeping a journal and not writing down those things that I can’t really share on a blog, and I will still be able to write about what is going on in my life.  Plus, I’ve realized that “writing” for me means typing, not using a pencil (unless it’s a card or letter, those I still do frequently with pretty stationary and good old stamps).  With any hope, journaling will be easier and more frequent now, and I will have some great progress to report near the end of the summer.

I hope that the next few months are wonderful for y’all.  See you later!

What I’ve Made Lately

I don’t have a whole lot to show as far as the things I’ve made lately.  Mostly that’s because I’ve been working on some bigger projects that have taken more time.

Clockwise from top left corner:

• Brattleboro hat from New England Knits by Melissa LeBarre and Cecily Glowik MacDonald.  This is a beautiful book with some great projects in it.
• Hurricane Hat from Andrea Goutier.  This is an easy hat with a fun little spiral detail.  Not to mention a free pattern!
• Chunky Bamboo Wrap from Nature’s Wrapture by Sheryl Thies.  I made this to wear to Wendy’s wedding, but I actually didn’t quite get it done in time.  Plus I decided to wear a sweater at the last minute instead of a short-sleeved shirt, so it would have been superfluous anyway.
• A baby blanket for a special friend who is having a baby boy next month.  I used the Basic Garter Stitch Blanket pattern from Petite Purls.  All of Petite Purls – a knitting for kids e-zine – patterns are free, and they are very nice.  Their basics series is especially helpful.
• An apron from Amy Butler’s In Stitches.  I really like the way it turned out, but her projects always seem so non-intuitive that I can’t quite figure out how it’s going to go together until I do it.  The fabric is from Wal-Mart.  I have found that our little Wally World here in Red Bluff has a nice selection of fabric and every so often I will stock up on a few yards that are on sale, typically for less than $3/yard.
• Repurposed shirt into a shrug.  I used this tutorial from one of my most inspirational blogs for sewing – The Cottage Home.  I am not sure if I will ever wear this thing.  Maybe if I had used a shirt that was too big rather than one that was too small it would have turned out better.

A couple things I’ve done that aren’t here – a little play dress for Jane and I put together a quilt top that had been sitting together as completely blocks for months and months.  I used a dress as a template to make the dress for Jane, but then I realized that not only does she want to wear a dress all the time, it has to be a poofy dress.  So now I need to find a tutorial to make a poofy dress.  She’s such a girl.  I love it.

Thankful Thursday 9

Such great things have been happening lately!

Last week, we went down to Turlock to visit with Doug’s family and to celebrate the Temple Marriage of Doug’s oldest sister, Wendy, to her now-husband, Joseph.  What a wonderful day!  Over the last several months, I’ve had the opportunity to get to know Wendy better and to act as a sounding board for some of her worries and frustrations and happiness.  Wendy & Joseph, this is such a great adventure that you’ve embarked on!  In order to be an adventure, there will be highs and lows, but remember this:

Anyone who imagines that bliss [in marriage] is normal is going to waste a lot of time running around shouting that he has been robbed.

[The fact is] most putts don’t drop. Most beef is tough. Most children grow up to be just people. Most successful marriages require a high degree of mutual toleration. Most jobs are more often dull than otherwise. …

Life is like an old-time rail journey—delays, sidetracks, smoke, dust, cinders and jolts, interspersed only occasionally by beautiful vistas and thrilling bursts of speed.

The trick is to thank the Lord for letting you have the ride.

-Jenkins Lloyd Jones, “Big Rock Candy Mountain,” Deseret News on June 12, 1973/Quoted by Gordon B. Hinckley

It was also wonderful to celebrate Easter!  Long ago, when I was in undergrad at BYU, I experienced four seasons each year.  This was rather new being from Texas.  The winters were long and cold and dreary, and I typically declared every December that I was NOT going to come back in January.  (I always did.)  This was when Spring became my favorite season.  Gradually the skies cleared, the air warmed, and green replaced brittle brown.  Flowers bloomed and birds sang.  Life renewed itself.  Of course the all-important Atonement, death, and Resurrection of our Savior, Jesus Christ, happened in the Spring.

While Jane and I were taking one of our jaunts at the Sundial Bridge in Redding, a sweet lady from Sweden stopped me and shared a picture and a testimony in broken English that she knew God loved me and would give me a beautiful springtime.  I found the reminder comforting.  Even though our lives might seem cold from despair and broken dreams, the light of hope and faith can break forth and warm us to the very core, renewing us in a beautiful and very personal springtime of our own.

Do you like FREE sewing patterns?

I know I do!  I love to scour my favorite blogs for free patterns and tutorials on everything from knitting patterns to little girl dresses to bags to….anything really!  I have a rather impressive list already.  If you want a guaranteed good place to find some free sewing patterns this month, check out Grosgrain!  Kathleen is hosting a free pattern month, with over 20 crafters from the blogosphere offering ideas and tutorials.

There’s bound to be something to inspire you!